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Triangle of Possibility
Session Objectives
Session Objectives – The Triangle of Possibility
By the end of this session, you will be able to:
Understand the concept of The Triangle of Possibility and how it applies to decision-making in retirement
Identify how self-awareness and psychological flexibility influence the quality of your decisions
Use the Triangle of Possibility to guide more balanced, purposeful, and fulfilling decisions in retirement
The Triangle of Possibility
Introduction
The Triangle
of Possibility
Welcome to this video on The Triangle of Possibility.
Welcome to this video on The Triangle of Possibility. Every decision we make, big or small, moves us through time and space, from what could be to what will be. Retirement, in particular, brings this truth into sharp focus, given the importance of the choices you make about how to spend your time, who to spend it with, and what to prioritise. Without a clear decision-making process, people often drift, react, or rely on habits from their working life that no longer fit the freedom and responsibility of retirement.
To help people navigate that process more consciously, I created the Triangle of Possibility, a simple yet effective way to understand how decisions shape your experience of retirement and how to stay in control of that process. It gives structure to what can otherwise feel like endless guesswork, turning decision-making into a deliberate psychological skill.
”Every decision we make, big or small, moves us through time and space, from what could be to what will be.”
change_historyThe Mechanics
LWATAP to
PWOOTIP
The Mechanics of the Triangle
Along the bottom edge of the triangle is what I call the Line Where All Things Are Possible, your starting point. Here, within the limits of reality, every solution to your retirement challenges and opportunities exists. From this line, you move upward toward the top of the triangle, the Point Where Only One Thing Is Possible, the place where a decision becomes real.
Each time you make a choice, you travel from your Line Where All Things Are Possible to your Point Where Only One Thing Is Possible. The aim is to control that journey, to move deliberately toward a positive outcome rather than drifting into a negative one. This is where retirement often exposes old patterns, such as rushed decisions or clinging rigidly to certainty. The Triangle helps you spot those patterns before they get you in their grip.
”Each time you make a choice, you travel from your Line Where All Things Are Possible to your Point Where Only One Thing Is Possible.”
change_historyLoss of Control
Undesirable
Outcomes
When Control Is Lost
When that control is lost, you may end up at undesirable points in retirement, such as persistent anxiety about financial security, a sense of purposelessness, overcommitment to others at your own expense, or withdrawal, frustration, or unhealthy behaviours. These outcomes rarely arrive suddenly but emerge from repeated journeys up the triangle that went unchecked. Awareness of this process is the first step toward changing it.
”Awareness of this process is the first step toward changing it.”
warningYour Ally
The Emotional
Self
Your Ally: The Emotional Self
But the good news is that you’re not travelling alone. You have an ally, your Emotional Self.
Your Emotional Self walks ahead of you to the likely destination of your current path. If it likes where you’re heading, it sends positive emotional signals, feelings of satisfaction, calm, and excitement. If it doesn’t, the message is different: stress, anxiety, low mood or depression.
Those emotional messages are your Emotional Self saying, “Continue” or “Turn back, reconsider and try another route.” When you respond to these messages, you return to your Line Where All Things Are Possible, regroup, and set off again with greater awareness. This is one of the most important skills in retirement: turning emotional feedback into course correction rather than self-criticism.
”Those emotional messages are your Emotional Self saying, “Continue” or “Turn back, reconsider and try another route.”“
psychologyGrowth
Revisiting
the Line
Revisiting the Line of Possibility
Each new journey you take, each time you learn from experience, lasts longer than the one before. Eventually, you find yourself reaching positive points more often, guided by self-awareness, psychological flexibility, and emotional intelligence. This repeated navigation is what prepares you for the Challenge and Transformation stages later in the course, where consistent decision-making becomes essential.
And if you notice you’re rarely reaching those positive points, that’s valuable feedback that something in your approach to retirement needs to change. Each time you return to your Line Where All Things Are Possible, you begin again, not from failure, but from wisdom. You’re refining your internal map, replacing outdated assumptions with choices that reflect who you are now.
”Each time you return to your Line Where All Things Are Possible, you begin again, not from failure, but from wisdom.”
self_improvementIntegration
Intentional
Retirement
Building an Intentional Retirement
When used consistently, the Triangle of Possibility becomes more than a tool for growth, well-being, and transformation. It helps you understand that every decision in retirement, every route you take, is an opportunity to learn, adjust, and find paths that take you to where you want to be. In this way, the Triangle helps you build a retirement that is intentional, responsive, and aligned with your emerging identity, not the one you left behind.
”When used consistently, the Triangle of Possibility becomes more than a tool for growth, well-being, and transformation.”
explore
Case Study
Nicky
Case Study 1: Nicky — Listening to Her Emotional Self
Nicky retired from teaching and immediately filled her calendar with volunteering and family commitments. Within months, she felt drained and irritable but kept pushing on. Her Emotional Self was sending clear messages in the guise of fatigue, frustration, and resentment.
Once she recognised these as messages rather than weaknesses, she stepped back to her LWATAP, reassessed, and rebuilt her week with more rest and balance. Her energy and enjoyment returned.
Case Study
Alan
Case Study 2: Alan — When Plan A Stops Working
Alan assumed retirement meant finally writing the book he’d been planning for years. He spent months avoiding the page, convinced he’d “get round to it.” His PWOOTIP was frustration and self-criticism.
With coaching, Alan saw that his writing dream had turned into pressure rather than pleasure. Returning to his LWATAP, he experimented with small creative projects instead of a single big goal. Progress followed naturally.
Case Study
Maria
Case Study 3: Maria — Turning Around Early
Maria moved abroad soon after retiring, expecting sunshine and simplicity. But isolation set in quickly. Rather than labelling her sadness as failure, she treated it as feedback from her Emotional Self.
Returning home wasn’t easy, but once she did, she rebuilt her social connections and realised she could still travel — just not live abroad full-time.
Case Study
Ben
Case Study 4: Ben — The Power of Awareness
Ben, a former manager, treated retirement like a new job — consisting of targets, routines, and productivity. It worked until exhaustion and irritability crept in. These emotions told him he’d veered toward an unhelpful PWOOTIP.
By pausing and reflecting, Ben shifted his approach to one of curiosity rather than control, rediscovering enjoyment in learning and mentoring, rather than constant achievement.
Case Study
Priya
Case Study 5: Priya — Returning to the Line Where All Things Are Possible
Priya’s first year of retirement felt scattered — a mix of good intentions and abandoned plans. Each disappointment lowered her confidence until she noticed a pattern: her decisions were reactive, not deliberate.
Using the Triangle of Possibility, she started pausing before committing, asking herself, “Is this taking me toward or away from where I want to be?” Over time, she began reaching positive points more consistently and with less effort.
Triangle of Possibility
Visualising
The Model
The goal is not to make perfect decisions every time, but to notice when you’ve drifted off course and get yourself back on the right path.
Reflective Activity
The Triangle of Possibility is a tool for every decision you make in retirement. Take your time with each section — the more detail you bring, the more insight you’ll gain.
Awareness of Your Current Triangle Think about a recent decision in retirement. Where did it begin — at the LWATAP, or already halfway up with limited options? How much choice did you genuinely feel you had? Were your thoughts, behaviours, feelings, and relationships calm and curious, or pressured and reactive?
Reading the Signals from Your Emotional Self What emotions showed up as you made that decision — satisfaction, excitement, anxiety, guilt, resentment, or relief? How did your Emotional Self try to communicate? If you ignored those signals, what happened next? If you listened, how did the outcome change?
Understanding Your PWOOTIP Where did your decision take you — to a positive or negative Point Where Only One Thing Is Possible? Were there moments when you could have paused, returned to your LWATAP, and tried a different route? What stopped you from doing so at the time?
The goal is not to make perfect decisions every time, but to notice when you’ve drifted off course and get yourself back on the right path.
Reflective Activity (Continued)
The Triangle of Possibility is a tool for every decision you make in retirement. Take your time with each section — the more detail you bring, the more insight you’ll gain.
Practising Psychological Flexibility Think about an area of retirement where you feel uncertain or dissatisfied. If you continue along that path, what kind of PWOOTIP might you reach? What alternative options still exist on your LWATAP? How could you begin testing one or two new routes rather than staying fixed on a single plan?
Integrating Learning What have you learned about your decision-making style — do you rush into action, overanalyse, avoid choice, or follow others’ expectations? How could greater self-awareness help you make choices that lead to more fulfilling PWOOTIPs?
Your Emotional Self How could psychological flexibility help you return to your LWATAP sooner when things don’t feel right? What role does your Emotional Self now play in your next decision?
Which part of the Triangle of Possibility do you need to spend more time in right now?
Exploring the possibilities, travelling more consciously, or pausing to reassess?
What will you maintain or do differently to ensure you consistently end up at a positive PWOOTIP?
How can you use this model to build a successful retirement?
The goal is not to make perfect decisions every time, but to notice when you’ve drifted off course and get yourself back on the right path.
Every decision and its accompanying emotions, even the difficult ones, offer valuable information.
What Did You Discover?
What did you discover exploring how your decisions move from the Line Where All Things Are Possible (LWATAP) to the Point Where Only One Thing Is Possible (PWOOTIP)?
Insights & Surprises What stood out to you most during this activity? Did you notice any patterns or habits in your decision-making that you hadn’t seen before? Which part of the Triangle — the line of possibility, the journey, or the point of outcome — feels most familiar to you, and why?
Emotional Awareness What have you learned about the messages your Emotional Self sends when a decision is or isn’t right for you? How might you use these emotional messages as guidance rather than obstacles in future decisions?
Shifts in Understanding How has your view of choice and control in retirement changed or stayed the same? In what ways has this tool helped you see that every decision and its accompanying emotions, even the difficult ones, offer valuable information?
Every decision and its accompanying emotions, even the difficult ones, offer valuable information.
What Did You Discover? (Continued)
What did you discover exploring how your decisions move from the Line Where All Things Are Possible (LWATAP) to the Point Where Only One Thing Is Possible (PWOOTIP)?
Space for Flexibility Where do you now see space for flexibility that you hadn’t before?
Next Steps What one area of your retirement would benefit most from returning to your Line Where All Things Are Possible? What actions could you take this week to test a new route or revisit an old one with greater awareness?
Your Emotional Self How will you keep your Emotional Self involved as a trusted guide on future journeys?
Concluding Reflection
Every Journey Teaches You Something
Every journey from the Line Where All Things Are Possible teaches you something, even the ones that don’t go to plan. Reaching an unhelpful point isn’t failure; it’s information. It’s your Emotional Self letting you know that something in your approach needs adjusting.
The courage lies not in never taking a wrong turn, but in noticing when you have and being willing to return to the line. Each time you do, you begin again with more awareness, more insight, and more choice.
In retirement, every decision, whether large or small, can help you move closer to a balanced life. Keep travelling towards the outcomes that bring you connection and fulfilment.
Difficult emotions are guides. They show you where opportunities for growth exist.