IMPACT Course Conversations With Self

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Conversations with Self Reflection

Confirmation

What did you discover Part One?

As with your conversations with others, a general rule to follow is that self-talk with mainly low scores (e.g., 3 or below) will likely make things worse; self-talk with mainly medium scores (e.g., 4 to 7) will make no difference either way; and self-talk with high scores (e.g., 8 or more) will make a tangible, positive difference. So, have you confirmed what you already knew about your conversations with yourself, or uncovered useful, if unexpected, insights?

Looking at your scores, how might they explain the existence or persistence of any difficulties in your retirement planning or life? Or alternatively, how might they explain a consistent ability to make progress?

What Next?

Now consider what you need to focus on regarding your conversations with yourself. Review the three questions below and try to answer each in turn.

assignment_lateWhat do you need to
find more of?

settingsWhat do you need to
maintain?

forumWhat would make them
conversations with IMPACT?

Self-Compassion in Retirement

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Encouraging self-compassion in your self-talk during more challenging moments, which let's face it, can come thick and fast in retirement, is key. It's easy to be self-critical when faced with challenges in retirement, but being kind to yourself can transform how you approach them.

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If terms like compassion and kindness have never been part of your vocabulary, think of them as 'going easy on yourself' and 'giving yourself a break'; they mean the same thing.

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Self-compassion and kindness aren't excuses to avoid accountability, either, just in case you were tempted to see them pejoratively; they're central to creating a supportive internal dialogue that builds resilience and growth rather than undermining them.

As with your conversations with others, we will look at strategies to improve your conversations with yourself in the next session.

Reflection Activity

One of the most effective ways to understand what you need from yourself now and in the future is to look back on moments when your self-talk made a difference to you.

check_circleWhat was happening at the time?
check_circleWhat qualities and characteristics (refer to my Questionnaire) were present that made it a conversation with IMPACT?
check_circleHow did it influence your emotions, confidence, or actions?
check_circleWhat did you learn about yourself through that inner conversation?

What do your past examples reveal about the kind of self-talk that supports you best now?

Use these reflections will help you identify what to strengthen, adjust, or let go of in your internal dialogue as you move through your retirement journey.

psychology

So, what kind of self-talk do you want more of in your retirement?

Use the space below to reflect on your conversations with yourself

Reflect on two or three times when your inner dialogue, what you told yourself or how you spoke to yourself, helped you through a challenge, shaped a decision, or positively influenced how you felt about a situation. What was happening at the time? How did it influence your emotions, confidence, or actions? What did you learn about yourself through that inner conversation?

Examples: What Do I Want More Of?

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"I want self-talk that helps me stay steady when plans change."

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"I want to speak to myself with the same patience and respect I show others."

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"I want my inner dialogue to remind me that progress, not perfection, is what matters."

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"I want fewer critical, circular thoughts and more that focus on realistic action."

Keep this question close as you continue your journey through the IMPACT model and explore what gives your retirement meaning.

What do I want more of?

Examples: “I want self-talk that helps me stay steady when plans change.” “I want to speak to myself with the same patience and respect I show others.” “I want my inner dialogue to remind me that progress, not perfection, is what matters.” “I want fewer critical, circular thoughts and more that focus on realistic action.”

Your Starting Point

Whatever you discover, whether your self-talk already feels balanced and constructive, or whether it feels critical or inconsistent, this is your starting point. Every observation, positive or negative, provides information about how your internal dialogue supports or hinders you as you navigate retirement.

Now, imagine if your self-talk consistently helped you progress, being supportive, fair, and focused on what matters most. What difference would that make to your confidence, energy, and outlook?

The goal is not to silence negative thoughts or make them uniformly positive, but to create an internal dialogue that helps you think clearly, respond wisely, and feel steady as life changes around you.

As you continue, hold onto this idea: self-talk can be shaped and reshaped, and when it is, so too can your mindset, your decisions, and your experience of retirement.

Next Steps

Next, we'll explore how to improve your conversations with others and with yourself.

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