When Nicky retired from a demanding career in education, she expected relief, not confusion. Instead, she found herself anxious, withdrawn, and convinced she was no longer relevant. Her Negative Self — The Critic — had taken charge, shaping her thoughts (“I’m no longer useful”), behaviours (avoiding social events), feelings (anxious, irritable), and relationships (withdrawing from friends and family).

Seeing this in black and white was a turning point. Using her Observing Self, she brought forward her Optimistic Self, her Compassionate Self, and her Determined Self — volunteering locally, mentoring younger teachers, and rebuilding her confidence.

Through commitment and courage, Nicky battled relentlessly with her Negative Self until, eventually, they relinquished control and gave it back to her Observing Self.

When Tom retired from a successful career in finance, he assumed the pressure would ease. Instead, it followed him home. His Negative Self — The Perfectionist — had taken permanent residence, driving thoughts (“If I don’t do everything properly, I’m failing”), overplanning, micromanaging, and snapping at those he cared about.

Seeing this mapped out gave Tom clarity. Using his Observing Self, he brought forward his Realistic Self (“Good enough is often good enough”), his Compassionate Self, and his Friend Self — restoring balance and warmth to his relationships.

Eventually, The Perfectionist lost its grip, no longer the voice running the show. Tom’s Future Self would think clearly, act without pressure, feel calm, and relate to others with warmth and humour.