Acknowledge limits: Accept that some conversations cannot continue in their current form. Ending, pausing or replacing them is not a failure but a demonstration of clarity and self-respect.

Pause or end? Ending a conversation completely is always an acceptable option, but if you can step back and assess whether time and space, or professional support, could help, then, as a general life rule, keeping pausing as an option is usually worthwhile.

Set respectful boundaries: If you decide to end or pause a conversation, do so clearly and calmly. Use assertive statements such as, "I think we've taken this as far as we can for now." Be willing to repeat yourself so your message is clear.

Replace, don't just remove: If you do end a conversation, try to identify whether it gave you anything positive, as you ideally don't want to lose that quality. For example, if it held you accountable in a positive way, despite the obvious difficulties, seek out others who can replace what you have lost.

Shift the format: If talking face-to-face feels too upsetting or unsafe, use other methods, where possible, such as email or text, to reach an outcome, whether that's an ending, a pause, or a replacement.

Your self-talk: when ending, pausing or replacing, take care to avoid self-critical language, which only makes an already difficult situation worse. Replace it with a kinder form that acknowledges you have tried your best, but that things haven't worked out as you'd hoped.

Use professional support where needed: Some conversations only stand a chance of improving with expert help. As an option, it is always worth considering.

Professional support: If you seek professional support, such as a couples therapist or family mediator, explain that you are seeking a different kind of conversation because the current one isn't making the difference you need. You can share your Questionnaire results with the professional to give them an idea of why things have reached such a serious stage.